just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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