EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
