speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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