i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
