My room smells like vodka and shame
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I need to align my fucking chakras
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
