I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
