I faked an abortion last night.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
