We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
