the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
