i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Houston, we have a blender
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
