I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
