I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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