dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
no you cant smoke seaweed
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
