The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
