Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
