So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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