The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
