Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize