a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
