so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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