I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
