this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
