I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
