I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
