3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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