do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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