There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
