Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
