Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
