Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
