You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
it's like heaven, but drunker
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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