i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
