He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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