I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
