Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
