i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
