I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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