Sponge bath it is.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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