you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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