She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Randomize
