Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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