this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
