My friends, they love my intelligence
North Korea, Best Korea!
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
