one might say we're banned from that church
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
