i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
