Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
