It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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