there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Randomize