I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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