no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
