next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
