I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
