I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
