do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
