worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
