you guys were way drunker than both of me
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize