I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize