im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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