He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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