Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
