your thong is hanging out like whoa
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
