it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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