Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
