I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
